Happy Birthday!

Yes, today it is exactly one year ago that I started my blog!



How exciting!

And how sad that I find this exciting...

BTW: The little doggie is supposed to run (which it does if you open it in a new window) but doesn't. So should anyone read this who knows about blogs, html and all that stuff, please tell me why he stands still!

Freeezing!

It's May. In fact - it's nearly June.

And I am cold.

Near the point of digging my winter coat back out. How ridiculous is this weather?! 13°C?, rain and wind?

And there I was writing about a heatwave a couple of weeks ago...

Needless to say that the particular portion of good mood that is associated with nice weather has been used up.

Sleepless

So what do you do if you can't sleep because you have 1,000,000 thoughts running through your head? I used to write in my diary and for some reason that always helped me.

Not really that surprising, since it obviously makes you sort thoughts, literally spells out in front of you whatever was chasing around in your mind, in some kind of immaterial, elusive and rather foggy manner before. Thoughts become facts - or at least theories then.

The question is: Do I really want to do this? Or at least - do I want to do it now? What can of worms will it open I might not be able to cope with at the moment? And is it really that big of a deal? Maybe I am just hormonal (I heard women do get that sometimes), maybe I am nostalgic, emotional or just plain stupid and tomorrow I'll think "whatever was all that about?!"

So if I write it down now, then it might become more than it actually is and I might create a problem and obsess about it (apparantly something else, women are pretty good at) for no reason whatsoever.

So maybe I'll just get a cup of coco and surf the 'net for a while and restrict my thoughts to the ones that fit on the back of a stamp.

And stop obsessing about trying not to obsess about stuff.

Summertime...

It seems like it's finally here. Today we had about over 20°C (actually, according to the BBC it was 25°C!) and I walked outside without a cardigan or a jacket! Most people will think that this is hardly anything worth blogging about but everyone who knows me will agree that this is a rather rare occurence as I am always cold.

Anyway, the sun was shining and although it was very windy, it was very warm. I had forgotten how much weather like this improves my mood. I had the window wound down all the way, sang along to Fleetwood Mac and it didn't even bother me when people cut in front of me. Now that is a real sign about how happy I must have felt!

I know that it is supposed to deteriorate in a couple of days but I am hoping for another nice day tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Lunchtime

Why doesn't Marks & Spencer have sandwich shops somewhere near where I work?

And how is it that Sainsbury's will stop selling a particular sandwich as soon as I start to really like it?

Why can't more places have a bit more choice than cheese & ham, cheese & coleslaw, cheese & cheese, spam & cheese...?

Why do I feel the urge to share this particular issue? I am turning into a grumpy old man.

Ok, woman then...

Secrets? Never!

So how do I know what I can publish on here? I mean, I am only aware of about two people (yeah, that's TWO whole people) reading my blog - maybe one of them even stopped - but I just don't know if someone else might stumble across this and read something that I'd rather they didn't know.

Having added my picture of course doesn't help in keeping this anonymous.

Sitting in a room on my own I may well think that this is a very private experience. Well, it's not. Guess there is a difference between my little lockable diary - yes I had one when I was 12 - and sharing my thoughts online.

So I shall not write about the stuff that's been keeping me awake recently, the dream I had last night or my bank balance. (The latter certainly being the most embarrassing one.) I will not obsess about what I should do about something I am not going to mention, how I should talk to someone I'm not going to name and when I will be going to a place that I am of course not going to be at.

Confused? Yeah...

Heatwave?

According to those clever people at the BBC we are going to get a little heatwave on Thursday. Apparantly we can expect up to 24°C - well, at least London can. Up north we can look forward to about 21°C.

Fine by me.

I'm waiting.

The search endeth here...

Yes, I have found a pair of shoes to go with that lovely dress.

I actually found some shoes a while ago but have (once again) neglected to tell my poor little blog. And I didn't only find one pair of shoes; I found two (more than suitable) candidates.

So here they are...

This pair is from Office and my second choice. I think they are at their best with a black pencil skirt and some other secretary-related paraphernalia (thinking of blouse and bracelet here rather than note pad) but I do believe they look lovely with my dress.





My first choice are actually these babies from TopShop and I think they need no further introduction, especially since I saw them in numerous magazines since I bought them. Coincidence? I think not!




Should anyone wonder whether I always take pictures of my shoes, be it to stick on the front of shoe boxes or to post on here, I'd have to say "no". It just so happened that my usual shopping friend went to a conference and got so bored that he wanted to know what kind of shoes I bought. I know what you're thinking and no, he's not gay.

Anyway, I obliged and contorted myself to get the two shots where I actually wear the shoes. Just goes to show that my life is even more boring than his, since I had nothing better to do. Before I forget, I would also like to point out that I am wearing the sparkly socks for presentation purposes, i.e. the shoes' details became much clearer on my crappy phone camera once I put them on, and not for real.

Although... I think I might just give it a go.

Shoes!

I can't believe I managed to write for so long - even if not that regularly - without even mentioning how obsessed I can get with clothes... shoes... fashion in general basically. I don't think a day goes by without me cooing or squeeking (apparently not a particularly nice sound) over something I see on tv or in one of my 4.000.000 magazines I buy every month. I'm sure some people call me shallow for that, but I'd rather see myself as someone who loves beautiful things - it's all art, really.

Anyway, I now need a fabulous pair of shoes to go with my lovely dress and I have a few favourites. I considered briefly posting the links to those on here but then decided against it because - hah! - what happens if anyone reads this (does anyone read this?) and falls in love with the same pair of heels that I want? And what if they have the same size and snap up the last pair?!
A dilemma best avoided!

However, I have one fab shoe-site, which I am prepared to share: shoewawa. It's a blog-thingie just about shoes and contains such features as Ask Ms Shoewawa, High Street vs Designer and Ugly Shoes.

It's just again one of those things where you got to think "If only I would have thought of that first!"

Well ok, maybe just me then.

Wedding Plans

So my little brother is getting married. Well, he's not really that little anymore, he will be turning 27 in August, but he'll always be my little brother.

It's weird - I don't actually know whether I ever want to get married or not but I always assumed that if I'd get married, I'd do it before my brother. So if I wait until I'm 45 and then decide to get hitched he'll wait until then and get married after me. All a bit daft, huh?

Anyway, it should make my parents happy, because, let's face it, although they haven't really been asking for grandchildren constantly they're bound to expect them pretty soon. My brother and his lovely girlfriend (sorry, fiance) should now be taking care of this. Not that I think it'll happen too soon but certainly sooner than it would happen with me. Scary accidents excluded.

Anyway, I went into town last weekend with a friend and thought I'd have a look for an appropriately stylish wedding outfit.

(See, how I manage to turn a conversation that could so easily become serious and not superficial into something shallow and bla! You could say it's a gift.)

I expected him to lose the will to live after the first girly shop but he proved quite useful when he (!) picked out a rather nice dress.
Karen Millen.
I tried it on.
It fitted.
I liked it.
He confirmed the fact that it fitted and that it was nice.
I bought it.
...And a jacket.

Bad girl!

Although I had been moving away slightly from the 100% TopShop look and veered more towards River Island and the odd designer piece, I hadn't quite put myself into the Karen Millen box yet since I always thought of this label as "very nice, but very grown up" - which I'm not.

And when I paid for the dress it kinda dawned on me that either I was more grown-up than I thought I was or that Karen Millen had suddenly turned hip.

I choose to go with the second option.
But the jury is still out on whether I am ever seriously gonna try to wear leggings (or rather footless tights) and a mini skirt.

We will have to see...

In lieu of actually writing something interesting myself...

Louis XIV Music Video Codes

Playing: Louis XIV - Pledge of Allegiance
Myspace Layouts Music Video Codes

I kinday like this one, probably because it reminds me so much of being 16 or 18 and not having much else to do but hang around, listen to music and eat lots of sweets.

Gute Vorsaetze fuer's neue Jahr

That's German and means as much as "good resolutions for the new year".

Maybe mine should be to improve my English.

Every time I have been at home for a bit I come back sounding more and more like a foreigner - which of course I am. So there.

I had a lovely time at home although some of it was spent being poorly in bed. Typical, isn't it? Working all the time, then having some time off - only to be sick...
Anyway, Christmas was the usual family get-together. Of course it is sad to see that every year the circle gets a bit smaller but I shouldn't complain since I had all my grandparents for a long time, much longer than many other people I know. Even my great-grandfather lived until I was about 12 years old.

So as I said: Christmas was all Christmas tree, cookies, music (dad playing the organ and my "little" brother playing the trumpet) and of course lots of food and pressies!

A few days later we even had a proper winter wonderland outside thanks to the 10+cms of snow, unfortunately that was gone within a couple of days.

For New Year's Eve I went to a restaurant/hotel with my family where we danced the night away. Well, how often do I get to see my dad a bit tipsy?! (the answer is "not very often" by the way!).

My birthday was a bit scary this time (big one with a "0") but probably the nicest I have had for years. I had my family and best friends around on the day and they spoiled me with lovely and thoughtful gifts. I think at some point I nearly cried... We had copious amounts of cake and for dinner we had raclette. After that we played "Who wants to be a millionaire" and generally just laughed a lot.

At the weekend we went out to my favourite club ever - the Schwimmbad (see below) and I got all silly and dancy. I got the DJ to play a few of my favourite songs and it was nice to finally introduce a friend of mine into the wonderful world of the SMC. I had been going on and on about it for years and kept annoying him by calling all sorts of songs played on the radio "Schwimmbad songs", so it was nice to prove that the mystical place actually exists.

Anyway, it was all lovely!

Resolutions for the new year then. Definitely to write more in here!

Lack of inspiration...

...led me to copying someone I know. So here is the look into my deepest secrets. Not that scary really. Just a tad embarrassing maybe...

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion 60% Stability 26% Orderliness 36% Accommodation 56% Interdependence 76% Intellectual 63% Mystical 63% Artistic 63% Religious 10% Hedonism 56% Materialism 90% Narcissism 70% Adventurousness 50% Work ethic 70% Self absorbed 63% Conflict seeking 70% Need to dominate 63% Romantic 90% Avoidant 36% Anti-authority 56% Wealth 56% Dependency 76% Change averse 76% Cautiousness 43% Individuality 83% Sexuality 43% Peter pan complex 70% Physical security 83% Physical Fitness 64% Histrionic 90% Paranoia 83% Vanity 76% Hypersensitivity 90% Female cliche 90%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Stability results were low which suggests you are very worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.

Orderliness results were moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.

Extraversion results were moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.

trait snapshot:

craves attention - at times...

messy - definitely!

open - yes

rash - ...and probably regrets it later

irritable - some ppl just know how to push my buttons...

likes large parties - definitely prefer smaller get-togethers

low self control - only around things & ppl that I have a weakness for... ok then...

weird - some say so...

fragile - is this really something I can judge myself. Others say I *seem* fragile.

does not like to be alone - depends, sometimes I love it

emotionally sensitive - yep, say the wrong thing and I...

worrying - only about things I shouldn't worry...

depressed - think it's just sometimes the lack of daylight.

heart over mind - yep

does not respect authority - ahm... apparantly I never have.

dependent - in what way?

not rule conscious - try not to think about it

not good at saving money - so baaad

more interested in relationships than intellectual pursuits - sometimes relationships can be very intellectual!

likes to fit in - don't really care...

very social - depends on mood

frequently second guesses self -

phobic - not really

suspicious - only when there's something to be suspisious about!

not careful - I know *sigh*

outgoing - can be...

vain - every now and then

compassionate - for the right cause, yes!

aggressive - better than a push-over. But hold on: I'm one of those as well!?

likes to make fun - sorry...

hates to lose - who doesn't? But am not a bad looser!

No excuses

I know - I haven't written for ages!

And there would have been so much to write about...

In July/August I went on a holiday:
First we went to Budapest where we watched F1 and wandered around the beautiful city, then Vienna (also gorgeous, if a bit too pristine) and last but not least we spent some time at my parents where we went on some walks and stuff.

This alone could have filled pages...

But not enough, last weekend I went to my 10 year Abitur (German A-levels/highschool) reunion. 10 years - blimey! It was really nice, if a bit weird, to see everybody after such a long time. Most of them I really hadn't seen since 1995.
Watching a medley of (now digitized) videos that documented various excursions and school trips, made me realize how much I have grown up and changed (did I really ever think that a perm is a good idea?).
Seeing how many of them were married and hearing some of the girls talk about their kids made me realize how little I had grown up.
So right now I'm feeling ... just right. :)

btw: Should anyone actually read this: I will try and keep more up to date with writing in future - especially if there is something to write about!

Lovely weather makes me smile

It does. It puts me in a better mood.

Getting up in the morning is *so* much easier when the sun is shining.

I can wind the car windows down and cruise, playing "Boys of Summer" and all kinds of happy dance music.

I can dig out treasures from my wardrobe that I haven't worn for a year.
Or even better: buy a completely new outfit for next to nothing (shopping for winter clothes is so much more expensive!).

There is just one thing that annoys me (of course there is):

Why is it that everyone complains once the temperature rises above 20°C? It *is* summer!

And why do we have to put the aircon on overdrive to cool down all rooms to around 17°C so I actually have to get dressed up when going inside?

And why the comment "If it was always this warm/if we could rely on weather like this we wouldn't have to go abroad for a holiday!"
Is the only reason to go abroad really just the weather? I always enjoy experiencing a different culture, speaking (or at least hearing) a different language, taking in the sights etc. Nice weather is a major plus but not the be-all and end-all.

I for my part am loving this weather. Wish I had a bit more time off work though...

When your brain doesn't work...

...not even chocolate helps.

It didn't on Friday anyway.

At all.

My flatmate felt just the same so we kept asking ourselves if it was contagious. Maybe a particular cruel way of mother nature telling us that we are slowly syncronizing.

All we could do was sit on the couch and watch Will & Grace and Friends. Anything more high-brow would have been too much.

Nibbling on meringues and chocolate did *not* work.

So even chocolate has its limitations.

Chocolate!

I can feel my legs this morning.

Not because I did what I had planned to do and went out dancing & drinking, but because I was dragged out for a country walk on Saturday by a very brave man. I'm calling him brave as my mood on the day was anything else but good. Call it hormones, call it bad night sleep I was less than agreeable to pretty much any- and everything and I guess he didn’t really know whether I was going to shout at him or start crying any minute.

I would like to add here that I am trying to be bad tempered for as little as possible and hate it if people excuse bad behaviour or just being downright rude with “well, I’m just in a bad mood today”. Doesn’t hurt to say “please” and “thank you”- a smile, of course, is always optional.

Anyway, we drove out and went for a walk near Bakewell and I think he felt rather proud when, towards the end of it, I was smiling. When I then discovered a Belgian Chocolate Shop on the way back to the car I was nearly all better, spending over £20 on all kinds of sumptuously filled shapes. Said friend must have still felt slightly guilty as he insisted on paying half – maybe he just wanted to make sure he can nick a few…

Anyway, is there actually any point to this entry?

Probably not but maybe that chocolate really is magical...

Flashbacks

Counting up money (sadly not mine) and listening to yet another dodgy 80s online radio station I just experienced the most intense flashback.

They are playing Sunglasses at Night (apparently by Corey Hart).
I am wearing a pair of 501s that, with a 30" waist, are at least 4 sizes too big, a dodgy print top and some weird leather straps around my right wrist.

Dancing with my eyes closed, I'm at the Schwimmbad - my favourite club in the whole world.

I'm sure everyone has a club like that.

One where it was cheap to get in and nearly as cheap to get drunk. It was a bit scruffy and it certainly wasn't considered "trendy". But what mattered was that the DJ played all your favourite songs, so much in fact that most of the time you knew what was coming next. You knew the bouncers and they knew you. At some point it didn't even feel like going out, it was more like dancing in your very big front room. That had huge speakers. And disco lights.

I remember passing a whole A4 sheet full of requests to our DJ Jochen, who I was desperately in love with for about a year. He happily oblidged and played nearly all titles for us. Apart from Take That. He said he was afraid that people might throw things. Oh, and he never fell in love with me.

Anyway, I still go there from time to time although I feel a tad old by now - well, those kids could nearly be mine, even if that would have made me a *very* young mum. The music isn't quite the same any more, even if the odd play of Long Train Running makes it all worthwhile. I have stopped wearing 501s. I'm still wearing the odd dodgy print top. Jochen has long since retired from his DJing throne. I am not in love with him anymore but we are still in touch - well, I do send a birthday card each year.

Sometimes I feel like there is a void in my life where the Schwimmbad used to be. Monica, Rachel & Co. have Central Perk. The people in Boston have Cheers.

I had the Schwimmbad.

Nowadays I get with a night at my favourite club - and flashbacks when listening to dodgy 80s radio stations.

Spontaneity...

So when I came home on Friday and my flatmate said something along the lines of "fancy sitting on the road in Stretford, listening to REM?" I wasn't quite sure what she was on about. As it turned out, REM were playing open air at the Lancashire Cricket Club. Since it was quite a nice evening anyway I decided to go with it and not only did we end up on the street in front but thanks to an - obviously desperate - ticket seller, we ended up getting in for £10 each. Pretty good.

Bopping away with a few thousand fans (or opportunists?) I felt all young and spontaneous.

I felt myself reminded of the times when your plans changed as often as the phone rang. "Party at Stephan's? No, his parent's are in! We're gonna be somewhere in the forest and then in Michael's vineyard!"
You never had to plan for food or drink either, since petrol stations had a good assortment (note that petrol stations in Germany are permitted to sell alcohol).

These days I usually plan a night out about 3 days in advance, thinking about where to go, who to call, what to wear. Oh, and what I'd miss on telly.

Sad really.

I shall therefore be more spontaneous, dig my rollerskates out, kiss whoever I like whenever I like, speak my mind more often and wear clothes just how they come out of the wardrobe not worrying about the concept of an outfit.

Or maybe I'll just grow up and make a plan about how and when to be spontaneous.

Very slow evening at work...

...so I've been browsing other blogs and someone I knew did these tests.

Inspiring...



I'm not quite sure how I am "totally cool". Most people who know me will probably disagree with that since I am a bit of a geek. But who knows who wrote this test...