When your brain doesn't work...

...not even chocolate helps.

It didn't on Friday anyway.

At all.

My flatmate felt just the same so we kept asking ourselves if it was contagious. Maybe a particular cruel way of mother nature telling us that we are slowly syncronizing.

All we could do was sit on the couch and watch Will & Grace and Friends. Anything more high-brow would have been too much.

Nibbling on meringues and chocolate did *not* work.

So even chocolate has its limitations.

Chocolate!

I can feel my legs this morning.

Not because I did what I had planned to do and went out dancing & drinking, but because I was dragged out for a country walk on Saturday by a very brave man. I'm calling him brave as my mood on the day was anything else but good. Call it hormones, call it bad night sleep I was less than agreeable to pretty much any- and everything and I guess he didn’t really know whether I was going to shout at him or start crying any minute.

I would like to add here that I am trying to be bad tempered for as little as possible and hate it if people excuse bad behaviour or just being downright rude with “well, I’m just in a bad mood today”. Doesn’t hurt to say “please” and “thank you”- a smile, of course, is always optional.

Anyway, we drove out and went for a walk near Bakewell and I think he felt rather proud when, towards the end of it, I was smiling. When I then discovered a Belgian Chocolate Shop on the way back to the car I was nearly all better, spending over £20 on all kinds of sumptuously filled shapes. Said friend must have still felt slightly guilty as he insisted on paying half – maybe he just wanted to make sure he can nick a few…

Anyway, is there actually any point to this entry?

Probably not but maybe that chocolate really is magical...

Flashbacks

Counting up money (sadly not mine) and listening to yet another dodgy 80s online radio station I just experienced the most intense flashback.

They are playing Sunglasses at Night (apparently by Corey Hart).
I am wearing a pair of 501s that, with a 30" waist, are at least 4 sizes too big, a dodgy print top and some weird leather straps around my right wrist.

Dancing with my eyes closed, I'm at the Schwimmbad - my favourite club in the whole world.

I'm sure everyone has a club like that.

One where it was cheap to get in and nearly as cheap to get drunk. It was a bit scruffy and it certainly wasn't considered "trendy". But what mattered was that the DJ played all your favourite songs, so much in fact that most of the time you knew what was coming next. You knew the bouncers and they knew you. At some point it didn't even feel like going out, it was more like dancing in your very big front room. That had huge speakers. And disco lights.

I remember passing a whole A4 sheet full of requests to our DJ Jochen, who I was desperately in love with for about a year. He happily oblidged and played nearly all titles for us. Apart from Take That. He said he was afraid that people might throw things. Oh, and he never fell in love with me.

Anyway, I still go there from time to time although I feel a tad old by now - well, those kids could nearly be mine, even if that would have made me a *very* young mum. The music isn't quite the same any more, even if the odd play of Long Train Running makes it all worthwhile. I have stopped wearing 501s. I'm still wearing the odd dodgy print top. Jochen has long since retired from his DJing throne. I am not in love with him anymore but we are still in touch - well, I do send a birthday card each year.

Sometimes I feel like there is a void in my life where the Schwimmbad used to be. Monica, Rachel & Co. have Central Perk. The people in Boston have Cheers.

I had the Schwimmbad.

Nowadays I get with a night at my favourite club - and flashbacks when listening to dodgy 80s radio stations.

Spontaneity...

So when I came home on Friday and my flatmate said something along the lines of "fancy sitting on the road in Stretford, listening to REM?" I wasn't quite sure what she was on about. As it turned out, REM were playing open air at the Lancashire Cricket Club. Since it was quite a nice evening anyway I decided to go with it and not only did we end up on the street in front but thanks to an - obviously desperate - ticket seller, we ended up getting in for £10 each. Pretty good.

Bopping away with a few thousand fans (or opportunists?) I felt all young and spontaneous.

I felt myself reminded of the times when your plans changed as often as the phone rang. "Party at Stephan's? No, his parent's are in! We're gonna be somewhere in the forest and then in Michael's vineyard!"
You never had to plan for food or drink either, since petrol stations had a good assortment (note that petrol stations in Germany are permitted to sell alcohol).

These days I usually plan a night out about 3 days in advance, thinking about where to go, who to call, what to wear. Oh, and what I'd miss on telly.

Sad really.

I shall therefore be more spontaneous, dig my rollerskates out, kiss whoever I like whenever I like, speak my mind more often and wear clothes just how they come out of the wardrobe not worrying about the concept of an outfit.

Or maybe I'll just grow up and make a plan about how and when to be spontaneous.

Very slow evening at work...

...so I've been browsing other blogs and someone I knew did these tests.

Inspiring...



I'm not quite sure how I am "totally cool". Most people who know me will probably disagree with that since I am a bit of a geek. But who knows who wrote this test...

Guilty pleasures?

I have fallen into a TV black hole.

No ER.
No Desperate Housewives.
Twin Peaks DVD's have not yet arrived.
Friends is finished.
Frasier is finished.
Sex and the City is finished.

So I am finding myself drawn towards watching America's Next Top Model. I know it is dead cheesy. I know the girls are over dramatic. I know Tyra is so full of crap sometimes. And yet I am putting up with all of this because I am fascinated by the photoshoots, the incredible changes after the girls have been through make-up & hair and the fashion shows.

I just gotta be careful not to pick up any of the language. Someone please hit me if I ever call them girlfriend.

The other thing I started watching last night - as I lay on the couch feeling dizzy and sick with mild food poisoning - is The LWord. The last time I attempted to get into it I found it all a bit too... predictable. Of course it is full of gorgeous & sexy young females doing gorgeous & sexy things to each other but it felt like that was all there was to it. Last night there were actually some things happening - on top of all the sexy stuff.

Which - let's be honest - we wouldn't want to miss.

Monday morning...

How hard was it to get out of bed this morning?

After another fab weekend with lots of cheesy pop & dance, some drink and a subsequent (absolutely necessary as hungover) lazy Sunday with lounging & vegging on the couch, I am still a bit confused as to what I am doing here. Having been all hot and sweaty on Saturday night and wrappend in a blanket most of yesterday, today just seems very cold and un-cosy...

Hot drink, I think...

Tired...

Only a few years ago I used to be able to sustain myself on relative little sleep over a fairly long space of time. This was particularly handy when I was stuck in a relationship that had a turned a bit argument heavy, which meant I never got more than 2 hours sleep each night but had to get up and go to work each morning. Although this went on for quite a few months, somehow I still functioned.

When I was even younger I was able to party/stay up for nights on end and still go to school/study/work and have a good time.

Not anymore these days. Didn't get much sleep Thursday night so I was tired all day yesterday. Stayed at a friend's last night watching The Old Grey Whistle Test on DVD and just conked out on the couch. However, I was still "up" at 3am trying to listen to Supertramp and keep a conversation going as I was actually in the mood for a bit of a chat, a drink & music.

Anyway, this morning I literally had to roll myself out of bed to get to work and I am now sitting here with a serious cup of coffee trying to prevent my eyes to shut.

Was planning and looking forward to go out tonight so I will have a nap the minute I get home.

God. What a wimp I have turned into!

So do we know now?

The last episode of Twin Peaks has been watched and although we kind of know what happened to Laura we are still now not supposed to be sure. Lynch ends the story in a way to tell us that there will be more to come. So there.

I decided that if I can get hold of series 2 I will definitely like this ending as it might have the capacity of extending my excitement and offer me more twists and turns.

If I cannot see how it continues I will still like the ending but get annoyed with the fact that I will have to confirm via the wonderful www if what I think happened is true.

If I cannot find any decent info on the www or think that Lynch really just got bored and gave it all a rubbish ending I will be disappointed and cry. Even if that makes me a loser.

Icky icky sore throat

I've got a sore throat and am starting to lose my voice.

Some people who know me might argue that this isn't necessarily a bad thing... However, I am planning on having a fun weekend with a night out in Manchester on Saturday and not being curled up on the couch for most of the time.

Lemon tea... Echinacea... VitaminC...

I've got mail!

Not just email. Nope. Proper post mail. Miss E & Mr N sent me a cd full of pictures from when they were over here a few days ago. Made my day. Yay! :)

Now all I have to do is find some time to figure out how to post some on here...

Overtime?

It is Tuesday 7.15pm and I am still in work. Should have gone home at 5pm made some pasta, opened a bottle of wine and watched the last installment of Twin Peaks.

Instead I decided to help someone to box back issues of journals. For example the title Nature, going back all the way to 1948. And now I am very dusty. Goes to show that really no one will look at anything written a long time ago, even if it was so profound that the author thought it could change the world we live in.

Not that I ever think that. But you never know.

Oh to be concise...

I wish I could write.

I know I can write. Pen & paper, keyboard... whatever.

I can even string letters together to form words and then words will form sentences. And then sentences will form a letter/memo/report. I'm sure you know what I mean. But for one reason or another I always end up rambling. I want to say something and the words just conspire against me saying something completely different from what is in my head.

And then I continue trying to set it straight, digging myself a hole so deep I couldn't possibly ever get out of it.

I once knew someone who knew words. He loved words and words loved him. They never conspired against him. If he wanted to say something nice you'd know it. If he wanted to hurt you you'd know it, too. The Thesaurus was his bible. Maybe it still is. Although we still speak every now and then he isn't really part of my life anymore. All a bit sad but that's just the way it goes. I'm sure he's happy and that's nothing less of what he deserves. I just wish I could have learned more from him.

And there I am rambling again.

I shall try harder, edit more and learn the words that are still missing.

And go back to writing my report from which I needed a break.

The mystery continues

The last episode of Desperate Housewives on Wednesday. So we finally know what happened to Dana/Zach/Deirdre & Co. But we are left with a stupid cliffhanger being informed by a friendly Channel4 voice that Desperate Housewives will return at the beginning of next year?

Excuse me?! Next year?!

A cliffhanger over a week - fine. You are excited and need to know what's happening. You fight the urge to check a spoiler site. You talk to your friends about it, speculating if Ross is going to leave Emily for Rachel/Buffy is really dead/Mike is going to get shot.
All of the above presuming that you are a sad person like me who actually cares that much about a TV programme.

But several months? What exactly is the point? You will be excited for about a week. Then you will forget about it and continue to live your life - should you have one. In absence of that you will find another programme to concentrate on. Or fill the void with something even more meaningless. Like knitting.

Anyway.
More mystery in Twin Peaks. But the solution to each cliffhanger is only as far as the next DVD and since I am currently in possession of the whole set I can live with that.
We still don't now who killed Laura and I am still really enjoying this. I am just hoping that the ending won't disappoint me too much. Like we were all trapped in one of Cooper's bizarre dreams and Laura is actually alive - but has dyed her hair brown...

Strange feeling

Do you know what it’s like when you had a dream and the feeling you had remains with you for the rest of the day?

I’m having one of those days today. I can’t quite remember what I dreamt about but the feeling that remains is quite clear, if strange, since I don’t know what it is directed at. Does this make any sense? Didn’t think so.

Well, I am feeling a bit sad but hopeful as if something bad has happened but soon enough there will be a positive turn *because* of this. All quite bizarre since actually *nothing* has happened and I shouldn’t be feeling anything…

I’m confused.

I think I was too young when Twin Peaks came out...

...to be really interested. Well, maybe I just wasn't interested because I had other stuff to do.

Anyway, yesterday evening I started watching Twin Peaks with a friend for the first time. I thought I'd pretty much know what to expect: strange people in a strange town talking to each other backwards. Well, maybe not exactly, but I certainly expected a high level of weirdness and generally characters being out of touch with reality most of the time. I wasn't quite sure if it was going to be "good and interesting weird" or just "haven't got a clue what's going on weird".
I also remembered the combination of Lynch and MacLachlan in Blue Velvet and hoped that it would be nothing like it because I found BV tediously boring and thought that it was one of the most overrated films ever.

Anyway, I wasn't sure whether I was going to enjoy it, whether Lynch went a bit OTT and whether it was going to be one of those pretentious "you had to be there" dramas. But I got to say that so far I enjoyed it immensely and thankfully it did *not* remind me of Blue Velvet. It actually reminded me a lot of Desperate Housewives and a number of other more recent films/dramas/series, which might be a coincidence but I guess that Lynch has inspired some of the younger filmmakers.

I think we watched the pilot and the first 2 episodes after that and now I am eagerly anticipating the next installment. Cooper just informed us at the end of the last episode that he knew who the killer was (ha! and there was one of those famous dreams!) but considering that there are still quite a few CDs left I assume he is either going to be wrong or he won't tell us for a while.

Tonight is Desperate Housewives night though (last episode of series 1!) so it will probably be a few days before I find out more.... what a sad life I must lead ;)